August Kamp – In Between Meds Lyrics


And I think it's hard for people to accept that and still love me the way they did because it feels like accepting that I'm a crazy person. I know I'm not okay. Bipolar disease has the highest suicide rate of any mental illness, the issue is dangerous. (I'm losing my mind) And I'll try to push others into apologizing for things because if someone else apologizes then I'm not the problem. The reason that I am the way that I am is that my immediate gut feelings and emotions are only partially rooted in objective reality because I'm bipolar. Or the whole problem. And that is not a way that I enjoy living. What hurts me is that my issue is internal. I'm trying to be okay. And it's hard for me to accept that about myself and still love myself the way I did because it feels like accepting that I'm a crazy person
[Chorus 2]
I know when I'm in between meds
It might feel like I'm someone else
But it's still me in here
I know when I'm in between meds
You miss me, dear(ly)
I miss me, too
[Ending]
I know I'm not what you might want
But I just might be trying my best
I know I'm not what you might want
But I just might be on my way The issue is dangerous and the issue is internal. [Chorus]
(Repeated in background for duration of the song)
I know I'm not what you might want
But I just might be what you need
[Voice-over 1]
The most important thing to understand for anyone who wants to understand me is that I know I'm not healthy. "You did this yesterday, so why can't I do this now." I try to draw parallels between other people's behavior and my own because it makes me feel justified, it makes me feel sane. I'm so sorry
[Verse 1]
I know I'm not the one to stay quiet when I care
And I care too much
I know I'm just the type to shake hands when I'm scared
And I'm scared
But can't you believe me
When I say that I feel the weight of the moment
And can't you believe me
When I say that I'm hanging on by a thread
Can't you believe me
I see what I'm doing, I feel wide-eyed and helpless
Can't you believe me
I don't understand how the shapes in my hands
I know it's not my fault
When I feel scared of the things I do to you
[Voice-over 2]
The things I see myself doing and the things I hear myself saying. Because if I don't try every day, then I won't be. I will not outgrow it. It is part of my brain, it is forever part of the pinkish-gray meat computer that is me. And I know that nobody has a perfect life and everybody's quality of life is influenced by things around them and that I'm very lucky in the grand scheme of things to be living the life that I live. I'll start arguments for no reason. The issue is internal. And I am under no misconceptions that the way that I think is rational or acceptable or justified or justifiable. I am the problem.